a lot of this stuff makes it seem as if i'm a person who just has too much time on his hands. i'm not. i'm not a person who just does things because they're "funny." i'm a person who's not good at life and feels so fucking sorry for himself that he tries to make his life more exciting.
i miss so many people way too much, some of them i have no right to miss as much as i do. I feel sad every time i miss out on them, and it's sad to me. But I can't do anything about it. I feel it's my fault. I guess i have to try to keep going forward with my life and not let the things that i feel are wrong with me destroy me. I feel like I don't know if i can. So I guess I hope to make my dreams come true, but maybe this post will make it easier